Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
