Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I need a beard to bite.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
