Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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