Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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