batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
