Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
