I can tuck mytits in my pants
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
where does the pee come out of this thing
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
