I'm gonna have a badass scar
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
