Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
You're like the curious george of whores
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
