he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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