do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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