I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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