I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
