walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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