all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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