why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
