So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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