She said her name was "party"
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
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