Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Randomize
