Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
