She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize