After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
