i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize