God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
