I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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