Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
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