Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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