Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
