We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
