are you so shy because you have an std?
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
