ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
