We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Randomize
