No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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