You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize