i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
