Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Randomize
