Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize