Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
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