so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
