I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Randomize
