it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
