You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
i black out too much to be "responsible"
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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