I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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