when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I pour the whiskey from now on
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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