I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Randomize