basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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