In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
