Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
