you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Four minutes until I can fart!
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
