Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize