I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
i was born a porn star she said
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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