as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
You're like the curious george of whores
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
