it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
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