Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Panties = found
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize