he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize
