Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
