hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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