if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
We were destined to go to rehab together
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
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