i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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