My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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