you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
