If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Also, beer. Big fan.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
