I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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