Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
