He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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