I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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